A Big Red Wolf I'd Rather Be

Serendipity is my all time favorite word. That and the form I most often it use it in, serendipitous. That's the word that came to mind when I got home from the library yesterday with a children's book and only then realized it was perfectly fitting for my mood. It was just serendipitous! I grabbed it off the shelf for two reasons, the title was "The Red Wolf" and the illustration on the cover was beautiful. I thought my son would enjoy it. When My son and I opened it up a short time later, I was delighted to find myself reading a story about a young girl knitting herself into a wolf costume in order to handle the great "wild world". I quickly decided that I was meant to find this book right at this moment.

I have always been a somewhat mild mannered person. I treat others the way I wanted to be treated only to often find myself falling "victim" to bullies and aggressive people who don't operate in kind. Over the past several weeks I have watched in somewhat slack jawed surprise as my meekness has slipped away, leaving a more confident and empowered me. I have wondered what was it that finally made me feel this good about standing up for myself! At first I felt horrible when I raised my voice in order to be heard. But yet, I did it again when another "doctor" refused to listen to me. It was then I realized that I had done something amazing, I had started letting others know that I am a person too. Since then, I haven't let any opportunity pass to stand up for myself when its been warranted. I have never felt so empowered in all my life. I have stood up to doctors and medical professionals several times without shrinking back. I have whole-heartedly declared that my chronic pain has nothing to do with depression and stood my ground in the face of huge circumspect. For the first time I didn't care whether I could convince someone else or not because I was convinced and that was all that mattered. It has even made me stronger at work and in other parts of my life. The more I stand up for myself, the better I feel, regardless of the chronic pain I have every day. Even though I have this pain, I am not a victim, not of whatever illness this is or of anyone else. Throughout my entire life I felt it was better to give in rather than cause strife, but I have finally realized that I can treat others the way I want to be treated yet still demand the same respect. I am telling the world, I am soooo the opposite of depressed, even though medically speaking I should be. I think my frequent flier miles at doctor's offices finally brought out this other side of me and it's one of the best things to have happened to me!

So anyone who loves knitting and wants to read a great children's story about being empowered through knitting, check out this book. "The Red Wolf" by Margaret Shannon.

From Publishers Weekly A canny seven-year-old princess and a trunkful of knitting wool bring down the house or, more accurately, the castle tower in this cleverly told tale. Locked up by her father to protect her from the dangers of the world, the princess Roselupin knits her magic birthday yarn into a fuzzy red wolf suit. "If the world's too wild for the likes of me,/ Then a BIG RED WOLF I'd rather be," she says. Becoming a red wolf so big she bursts right out of her tower, Roselupin revels in a day (and night) of freedom. But the next morning, in a development explained only in the illustrations, a thread catches on a twig and the princess's suit unravels. Captive again, the imperturbable Roselupin uses more yarn to knit her father "a rather mousy-looking pair of pajamas." The final picture shows a forlorn mouse in a crown gazing out the window as Roselupin runs to join a circle of children in the town square. Shannon's (Gullible's Troubles) antic mixed-media art will have readers howling, too; in one spread, the gargantuan wolf revels in a dazzling selection of baked goods offered by courtiers who seem lilliputian by comparison. The old-world castle town and the dark forest are the stuff of classic fairy tales, but Shannon's sly humor and resourceful heroine are eminently her own. Ages 4-8.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

A Super Garden Gnome with Glow In the Dark Teeth

Well, the countdown to Halloween is here. Only a few days left to make sure that everything is ready to go. I have gone over my checklist and made sure I have all that I need. I have even knit and felted a gnome hat. True to his character, my youngest has been building onto his ensemble so that he will indeed, be the strangest child on the streets this Friday night. I originally suggested that he be a garden gnome for Halloween. He quickly embraced the idea and began to notice and collect gnomes where ever he could. Then he decided that he must have a cape, so he became Super Garden Gnome. Then last week he came home with glow in the dark vampire teeth, and added that to the costume. This weekend we picked up some silly glasses. I am almost scared to see what he'll come up with next. I have a sneaking suspicion it may have something to do with his new long johns, which he insisted he needed after seeing his dad wearing some on Saturday. I can just picture it now, a long john wearing super caped garden gnome with harry potter glasses and glow in the dark teeth, oh and did I forget the camouflage belt? He is so different than my other two children, who are content to go as a football player and snow princess. Usually I can't even get them to wear a whole costume.

As for knitted projects, I've gotten a few things done.
An Alpaca hat, which I made for a friend's birthday and then stealthily kept for myself. I'll eventually get over the guilt.

A pair of Football mitts out of some stash I had lying around. No, not Stash the kitty although he did come out for the photo.

I also finished my Maine sweater a few weeks ago and an ear flap hat for Eric. I'll get pics soon.

I am currently working on a sweater for my son's 10th birthday, coming up in a week and a half. I am loving fair isle right now and will try to throw some into the sweater. I bought the yarn and colors before I had a plan and fair isle seems like a nice way to bring the colors into play in a creative way.

Time Out

It seems fitting that the weather is changing and the landscape is beginning to take on the look of fall. I have done a lot of my own changing while I adjust to getting to know a new me and accepting that I have a chronic illness. It didn't just happen, in fact for months I have avoided people like the plague and for years I have dealt with a variety of symptoms that come and go. It's only now that I can say with a certain level of acceptance that I am living with this. I like routine and knowing what to expect but I also do well with small amounts of change and usually get excited about what I might learn. That is the attitude I am attempting to garner here as I face an uncertain future and adjustment to my long term goals. I am also waiting for a name for my illness though I strongly suspect I know what lurks here. With luck, it won't be much longer. I haven't posted in a while because I have searched for the proper opening to what is going on with me. In some posts I left it out but that didn't seem like the thing to keep doing. It is not my intention to solicit sympathy just to offer an excuse for a somewhat noticeable change in my behavior that is difficult to explain in regular conversation.

In the meantime, I do not have a lot to show in the way of knitting but there are a few things I've been working on. I am rediscovering my passion for reading which had taken a backseat to knitting the past couple of years. I go back and forth between the two past times now and even though this is hard for me to believe, I have gone an entire day or two (or more, I've lost count) in the past few weeks without knitting. I also mixed in a trip to Disney World with the family a couple weeks ago. My plan was to make a bunch of baby hats for charity but I was so busy I managed to make half of one the entire week!

I've made two pairs of mittens in Noro for The Littles (my two younger children), but have already lost one of the second pair!

Alpaca Mitts for me,

A catnip light saber for my new kitty, Stash (I was originally thinking of naming him Darth). He doesn't quite like it yet, instead he fears the force...

and finally started working on my gray sweater again that was started in July. I am pinching myself because I wrote the pattern but cannot find it anywhere. I convinced myself last night that the sweater can still be finished (just the sleeves are left) and I have enough information to get by. As for my hope of sharing it with others, nada. It'll probably turn up in my son's bedroom around next April or so, along with the other mitten.

I am making myself finish the sweater. Once that is done I can move on to new projects. I have plans to knit a felted hat for my son's Halloween costume, a sweater for my oldest and then start Christmas presents. It doesn't seem like I am starting as early as I had planned this year. Hmmmm.

They are getting bigger

My kids started school last week. All of them. My youngest started kindergarten, my daughter started first grade and holy toledo my oldest is in fourth grade!!!


The most shocking thing of all...My newly minted football player. When did he get so big? It seems like just yesterday I was shattering my father's dreams by insisting in no uncertain terms that he would NEVER play football. Now my father is estactic that his "husky" grandson will put his body to good use. Or is he estactic that I am letting him play after swearing that he never would? I know what Eric thinks, but what does he know anyway. Looking at him in his uniform makes me feel old and on the upside, kinda small too.

He's in a happy place

Foster's story began almost 14 years ago when he was brought home to live with Eric and his then-girlfriend. The relationship between Eric and the girl didn't last so the girl left but the kitty remained. When I entered the picture he was a couple years old yet still very much a kitten. I remember how he'd pace the perimeter of the bed, not sure what to do with this new person around. He would hide whenever someone new came around those first few years. My son will forever bear the scar on his face from the time Foster met up with him unexpectedly. My son was 11 weeks old and napping on the bed. Foster jumped up for a little nap too and landed on this tiny human, scaring himself so badly he jumped right back off and left a scar. Eventually, he got used to me, my cats and a new child every few years. His skittishness went away by the time our oldest got into the toddler stage. By then I guess he'd figured out that if he could handle a child, he could handle strangers too. For the past few years Foster has mellowed and become social and lovable with everyone he met. A couple months ago he even allowed our 1 year old neighbor to pat him (mostly by grabbing his head). I was amazed at how much he has gone through over the years and how laid back he'd become. Eric and I were convinced for a while he'd live forever.

About a month ago, Foster started to lose weight and slow down. We suddenly recognized that he wasn't as invincible as we thought. In early August I started to prepare myself to face Foster's eventual death. I did a lot of thinking about what he has brought to our family over the years and how much has changed since he was a kitten. He didn't seem to be suffering but he just wasn't the same and I knew I needed all the time I could get to get used to the idea of him not being around.

About a week ago he stopped eating. A couple of days ago he stopped drinking. As much as I felt I would be honoring his lifetime of achievement by letting him die naturally at home, Eric and I couldn't continue to watch him go on this way. It was a hard decision but today he was put to sleep. He would die either way, but hopefully we spared him some pain and discomfort, even if it was just a few hours.

We will miss him. He was the symbol of a lost era to us. The time when we were young and life was so different. A time when a 19 year old could still get joy out of naming a cat after a beer. He was the constant member of the family that was been with us before we were even a family. He moved at least 5 times in his life, always coming with us no matter where we landed. He watched other pets come and go but always kept that special place of honor as the first one. He was a good cat and he will never be forgotten.

Ravelympics

I am competing in the Ravelympics, a twist off the Olympics for the Ravelry web site. The challenge is to complete projects within the chosen competition before the end of the Olympics. I am competing in the Vest Vault and the picture shows the front of the vest I am working on. I'm using sock yarn and size 3 needles, making it more of a challenge to complete. I'm also making the pattern up as I go along. It is a straight forward type of v-neck vest in colors just perfect for my little guy's first day of school. Just in case I actually finish this with time to spare, I am also planning a second vest but in a worsted weight. I've got my fingers crossed that my hands and wrists will be up to the challenge. I have a problem in my neck that causes pinched nerves in my arms and wrists. So far I have made pretty good progress.
This other project is a sweater that I began working on during vacation. I had hoped to get it done before the Ravelympics but that wasn't meant to be with the busy vacation schedule I had. I was really excited to start the vest so putting this aside for the time being hasn't been so difficult. The best part is when I pick it up again it should be completed in no time. This is another that I am making up as I go along. I wasn't sure it was going to fit well until I tried it on- I love it. Looking at it on the needles just doesn't do it justice. The yarn was a cheap wool that I picked up on sale for the heck of it. So far its been a great investment of both money and time. The label says its gray, but it has a blueish tint to it that reminds me of an ocean sky on a gray day. I don't know why but it makes me think of seagulls flying off in the distance over the ocean.

Back to Reality

I've been on vacation for the past week and a half but it seems like eons have passed. Every day has been filled with activity and we have truly made the most of every moment! We started off with a few days of camping, followed by a visit from Eric's mother from Montana and then a visit from Eric's father and his wife from New Hampshire. In the midst of this, Teagan got his hearing aids. The next day we celebrated his 5th birthday and the day after we had a birthday party. The most incredible thing happened, all the grandparents showed up at the same time and we immediately grabbed cameras to take advantage of the once in a lifetime moment.
For Teagan's birthday I made him a special Mr Roboto Hearing Aid Caddy (pictured). It has an opening in the back for the hearing aid case and in the front a pocket for extra batteries. Teagan has learned that when the hearing aids come out, they go right into Mr Roboto. He has adjusted very well to wearing the hearing aids and announced today that he doesn't even feel them anymore. He has happily stated that he can hear and I can see the wonderful change in him.


So tomorrow, it's back to work and life has we know it. While I can't say that I am glad to be getting back to work, I am glad to be getting back into a routine. I have enjoyed all of the different moments of vacation but I am also pretty tired! It was just what I needed to keep my mind completely away from work. My one small regret is that I didn't spend just one day exploring other employment opportunities just to see what might be out there. There's nothing stopping me from still doing that, but it may have been easier to consider jumping ship while I was physically and mentally detached. Overall, I am not letting that or anything mar what has been a great vacation from the "norm". Can't wait to do it again!!!!