Mini Me

I call him "Mini Me" because he got my face, my sense of humor and a few of my other quirks. I'm sorry to say that "Mini Me" has added another distinguishing feature to credit the nickname, he has trouble hearing. I was born hearing impaired and when I started having children one of my worst fears was one of them would end up hearing impaired too. I was the diligent mom making sure they were screened and so relieved when each one could hear. Mini Me slipped past my radar, because he has one ear that works fairly well, unlike my issues in both ears. The Doctor's believed it was fluid and tubes would take care of it. With some skepticism, I have gone along with it hoping that would be all it is. I think I knew almost a year ago that this was something more. He was a quiet baby and he is just a little too much like me in some situations. I have become more aware that my methods of compensating have become his methods, making it even harder to recognize he is having difficulty. I prepared myself to accept that he may be hearing impaired and it will be okay. I turned out alright and he will too.
I just didn't expect to recall with such vividness the struggles I went through to become the adult that I am. Years ago I accepted that I am who I am, despite it being harder in some ways. I overcame the shame that young children can dole out on the playground and the fact that some adults think I'm a snob because I don't talk much. I figured I could make it better for him because I understand, and maybe the blessing in disguise is that I'd finally have someone who understands me. That being said I still wish I could find a way to make it easier and shelter him from the hurtful words that will inevitably come his way. Until today, I thought I was the only one taking this hard. But then we went to the Doctor for another visit to decide what to do next. When the Doctor left the room, Mini Me looked up at me, his face crumpled as he reached out and grabbed me around my neck. I hugged him as hard as I could for a couple of minutes and my heart broke. He doesn't have the words to express it, but the sorrow is there and the hugs are in high demand. I wish I could tell him it gets better from here.

I'm still knitting

Although my last few posts have been about anything other than knitting, I have still been at it. It has been pretty crazy around here for the past several weeks. I tend to go off in several directions while seeking an outlet for the stress I'm feeling. The result is several knitting projects at once along with many non-knitting related distractions. Along with the following projects I have been painting the house, doing yard work and experimenting all the ways I can use a waffle maker. I have also recently discovered that I can watch real music videos from the 80's on You Tube. This last one I have gleefully shared with my children, my daughter is shocked and disgusted while my boys have a new found respect. My 4 year old now thinks Cheap Trick is cool. Ahhh, Mini Me.

My main project is a long sweater using the wool/cashmere I bought in early May. I am nearly done with the body of it, and then will attach the sleeves and knit the neck. At first I kept wondering if I was crazy to do a thick warm sweater now, but the chill of the air conditioner at work has made this seem very appropriate. The rose and baby's breath is from my garden and the sweater is in the background.


I've been working on the second of a pair of socks in a yarn made from corn. This is the project I choose for hot days outside when the wool of the sweater is just too much.

I've also completed most of a sweater for my daughter. It's modeled after my cotton cable sweater but since the original pattern was for an adult, I have modified it to knit mostly in the round and in a smaller size. I just have to finish the second arm on that one.
Last but not least, I included a pic of a tee I finished a week and a half ago. It took forever but came out awesome! It is made with a new Spunky Eclectic www.spunkyeclectic.com yarn called Summer, a rayon and cotton blend. It is shiny, shimmery, smooth and soft. Soooo nice.

Due to budget cuts...

... The light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off!

Attention Bill O'Reilly, please add me to your list of Pinheads. I have officially traded in my integrity for my job. Budget cuts and laying people off lurks in my conscience. Although I still have a heart, I have given a piece of it to the devil and today he took his share. It hurt at first, but now has scabbed over and left this burning scab of anger and hatred in its place. The pain and anger will be held at bay as long as no one picks at the scab. I repeat, do not pick at the scab. I am willing to fight dirty to keep the devil from taking more than his share and I'm spoiling for a fight. Who ever said the good guy always wins does not know the devil as I do.