Mini Me

I call him "Mini Me" because he got my face, my sense of humor and a few of my other quirks. I'm sorry to say that "Mini Me" has added another distinguishing feature to credit the nickname, he has trouble hearing. I was born hearing impaired and when I started having children one of my worst fears was one of them would end up hearing impaired too. I was the diligent mom making sure they were screened and so relieved when each one could hear. Mini Me slipped past my radar, because he has one ear that works fairly well, unlike my issues in both ears. The Doctor's believed it was fluid and tubes would take care of it. With some skepticism, I have gone along with it hoping that would be all it is. I think I knew almost a year ago that this was something more. He was a quiet baby and he is just a little too much like me in some situations. I have become more aware that my methods of compensating have become his methods, making it even harder to recognize he is having difficulty. I prepared myself to accept that he may be hearing impaired and it will be okay. I turned out alright and he will too.
I just didn't expect to recall with such vividness the struggles I went through to become the adult that I am. Years ago I accepted that I am who I am, despite it being harder in some ways. I overcame the shame that young children can dole out on the playground and the fact that some adults think I'm a snob because I don't talk much. I figured I could make it better for him because I understand, and maybe the blessing in disguise is that I'd finally have someone who understands me. That being said I still wish I could find a way to make it easier and shelter him from the hurtful words that will inevitably come his way. Until today, I thought I was the only one taking this hard. But then we went to the Doctor for another visit to decide what to do next. When the Doctor left the room, Mini Me looked up at me, his face crumpled as he reached out and grabbed me around my neck. I hugged him as hard as I could for a couple of minutes and my heart broke. He doesn't have the words to express it, but the sorrow is there and the hugs are in high demand. I wish I could tell him it gets better from here.

I'm still knitting

Although my last few posts have been about anything other than knitting, I have still been at it. It has been pretty crazy around here for the past several weeks. I tend to go off in several directions while seeking an outlet for the stress I'm feeling. The result is several knitting projects at once along with many non-knitting related distractions. Along with the following projects I have been painting the house, doing yard work and experimenting all the ways I can use a waffle maker. I have also recently discovered that I can watch real music videos from the 80's on You Tube. This last one I have gleefully shared with my children, my daughter is shocked and disgusted while my boys have a new found respect. My 4 year old now thinks Cheap Trick is cool. Ahhh, Mini Me.

My main project is a long sweater using the wool/cashmere I bought in early May. I am nearly done with the body of it, and then will attach the sleeves and knit the neck. At first I kept wondering if I was crazy to do a thick warm sweater now, but the chill of the air conditioner at work has made this seem very appropriate. The rose and baby's breath is from my garden and the sweater is in the background.


I've been working on the second of a pair of socks in a yarn made from corn. This is the project I choose for hot days outside when the wool of the sweater is just too much.

I've also completed most of a sweater for my daughter. It's modeled after my cotton cable sweater but since the original pattern was for an adult, I have modified it to knit mostly in the round and in a smaller size. I just have to finish the second arm on that one.
Last but not least, I included a pic of a tee I finished a week and a half ago. It took forever but came out awesome! It is made with a new Spunky Eclectic www.spunkyeclectic.com yarn called Summer, a rayon and cotton blend. It is shiny, shimmery, smooth and soft. Soooo nice.

Due to budget cuts...

... The light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off!

Attention Bill O'Reilly, please add me to your list of Pinheads. I have officially traded in my integrity for my job. Budget cuts and laying people off lurks in my conscience. Although I still have a heart, I have given a piece of it to the devil and today he took his share. It hurt at first, but now has scabbed over and left this burning scab of anger and hatred in its place. The pain and anger will be held at bay as long as no one picks at the scab. I repeat, do not pick at the scab. I am willing to fight dirty to keep the devil from taking more than his share and I'm spoiling for a fight. Who ever said the good guy always wins does not know the devil as I do.

GUPPIES

Logic and Emotion have been fighting for over a week now. I am done predicting there will be a clear winner, just going with the current one in the lead at any given moment. They are starting to compromise a bit though, which is making things a tad easier. Emotion decided around 10am on Wednesday that the only thing that would make the world better would be guppies. Logic didn't say no right away but decided to give more serious consideration to the idea before acting on it. Emotion wasn't happy because she wanted to leave work and get guppies at 11am on Wednesday. Together they managed to discuss (er, argue?) the pros and cons of guppies for a couple days. Eventually, after all the drama of Emotion whining "but its just guppies! All I want is guppies" and Logic asking for Emotion to be quiet (just for a second) so she could think this through, they agreed to get guppies. Logic finally agreed with the stipulation that the tank for guppies be purchased and prepared ahead of time before welcoming new visitors. Emotion just wanted the damn guppies, but went along with it anyway. They are both now pleased to say the guppies (thanks to Emotion) are here in their new home and more likely to survive, (thanks to Logic) in the tank they prepped ahead. Why guppies (why not goldfish or sharks)? Well, let's remember it wasn't logic's idea.

Titanic Style

Eric got this spur of the moment idea when we were camping last weekend to do a movie pose. We were trying to re-create the scene from Titanic where they are hanging from the front of the boat. Our oldest son was the camera man, but he took the shot before we were ready. Really, that's my story and I'm sticking to it (that and the 3 Hard Mike's I chugged right before). We were oblivious to how inappropriate we were, and apparently so was the little girl in the background. Imagine our surprise when our impromptu movie shot went beyond what is suitable for the playground. Course, we didn't know it at the time or I would have been shamefully sneaking out of the campground in the dark of the night. They must think we are terrible parents~ Arghhh matey!

From arbitrary to crash & burn

So how do I know when I've gone from skidding outta control to crash and burn? Well, there's smoke coming out of my ears, my hair is singed, my feet feel like they're burning, I'm leaking fluids, my hood feels like it's dented but my backside is all twisted up and I can't see through all the crap on my glasses. Come to think of it, my body hurts all over. I think the damage is extensive, but repairable. I may just have to live with a tweaked frame for the rest of my life.

Gone arbitrary

How do I know when life is going too fast and I am skidding outta control? Well, first there's the inability to laugh at a good joke, or laughing too hard at a not so good joke. And then there's the complete arbitrariness that creeps over me and replaces all the productive thoughts in my brain. To steal from a wonderful, fantastic, awesome group on Ravelry, I go a bit "Completely Pointless and Arbitrary" myself. So, this is one of those days and I have just torn myself away from reading the most mindless (yet hysterical) random arbitrary ramblings of knitters around the world. Most days I just don't have the time for that, but on the skidding outta control days, it's about all I can do. These are the days when I am driving in my car and forget to turn the music on, while wondering why do the birds fly into the road, land and then take off all in the space of seconds while I am barreling towards them? Helloooo, don't they realize that is dangerous and unnecessary? Then the onslaught of random thoughts spirals out of control. Should I become a republican? How bad would it have to be for me to be a republican? Was I out of line to compare a certain someone to a hamster eating her young? OMG, why can't I get the picture out of my head of tiny little hamsters marching around like the gestapo so they won't be eaten too??!!! That's not funny, so why am I laughing? Do I look crazy driving in my car alone and laughing? For God's sake, "East bound and down, load it up and truck it, we're gonna do what they say can't be done" has no purpose in my life and yet it spends more time stuck in my head than any other song on the universe!! Could I be totally missing the point? Should I be loading it up and trucking to somewhere? Am I doing what can't be done. I want a clue. And if there is something to be said for the dumb songs that replay over and over in my head, year after year, then what's the story with these other regulars "Hit me with your best shot", "I'm here, to remind you of the mess you left when you went away", "Welcome to the jungle, baby" and my most recent "Dear Mr. President" Just to name a few. Maybe there is a point and I'm missing it. But why does it mostly happen when I walk into my bathroom? Is that when my thoughts are most random and therefore prone to musicgetsstuckinmyhead syndrome? Maybe I just need to load it up (the bullshit), truck it faster than what seems possible while daring people to stop me (with their best shot) and tell everyone who has screwed me over about the mess they've left me to deal with and just accept that its a friggin jungle out there that's getting worse everyday that is mostly caused by the president (who can't sleep at night because he's so guilty) and all the other people out there like him. Yes that's it, I'm glad I worked that one out.
Let's just see if I can outwit the random thought train again tomorrow, hah! Now, I must use my new self awareness for good and go channel it into knitting.