4 Year Old Boy Pees in Canteen
Meanwhile, his mother is watching and immediately puts a halt to the stream of pee. Boy grins, scoops water into his canteen (from the bathtub) and drinks it. Mother declares that he shall henceforth be called "Peeman".Fenway Frank Eats a Hot Dog
But refused to eat the Boston Baked Beans. The question now becomes, "Is he a cannibal?" Hard to say since he is a dog but he's named after the wiener.
Amy Is Mortified To Once Again Realize That Her Boss is a Bloomin' Idiot
One can only hope that people can learn from their mistakes. Perhaps its true that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. If I send something via email to notify you and 20 other people about an upcoming event and you forward it to me asking me to tell everyone does that make you stupid or am I losing my mind? Does doing it more than once change the answer? Another unsolved mystery.
9 Year Old Boy Risks Beating By Messing With His Momma
"Hey Mom, today I got into a fight and I punched a kid." Mother freaks, drops everything, in an instant loses all hope that "her boy" is going to turn out okay after all. "Ha ha, April Fool's". Father jumps in to tell boy that he is lucky because he wasn't sure he was going to be able to help when mom's shock turned to butt kicking. Mom laughs, "I would never teach a boy not to hit by beating him. Really, that's preposterous" Now we'll never know.
Husband Grows Facial Hair
Husband thinks he's so cool, growing a mustache and beard. Wife tsks regularly because she isn't quite sure how this is going to turn out. Wife kindly asks husband to shave the beard but leave the stache. Husband is much obliged and the wife now realizes, hmmm, a mustache. Hmmm. Lets it slip at the dinner table that she really DOES like the mustache, a lot, a real lot. Inadvertently, while saying this her voice comes out all wrong and turns sultry and sexy, not her voice at all. Husband appears a bit shocked, children start to giggle and look away. Daughter calls out, "Does this mean you guys are having sex tonight?" Wife swears she wasn't drinking and doesn't know what happened. She is now very distracted by the mustache and thinks some mustache loving sexy chick has invaded her body. Hmmm.
Insensitive Jerk Ridicules Hearing Impaired Person
Woman hears people using the word cucka and questions not only is this still a word, but are they really saying that? Woman says, "Did you just say cucka?" Insensitive Jerk says, no, they didn't say cucka, turn your hearing aid up." Meanwhile, the other people continue to say "cucka". Woman asks again and gets confirmation on the cucka. Woman then looks at the insensitive jerk and reports that she was indeed correct in what she heard and the fact that she is hearing impaired is not a secret. It's not a good idea to belittle a hearing impaired person about hearing, I really can't stress that enough. Word to the wise, don't sarcastically ask people if they are deaf when they don't hear something you've said. You may just be surprised at the answer you get. And another thing, we can read lips too.
Turkey Intercepts Car on the Drive Home
There has been a huge influx of wild turkeys out and about this winter. Woman driving home from work is used to seeing them in yards she passes but she is shocked when she encounters one jumping from a snowbank onto the road directly in front of her car. She attempts to swerve but is unable to prevent her car from hitting the turkey. A bit shaken and nervous about what she'd find, the woman pulls over and gets out to inspect. She discovers that the turkey hit near the right front tire and is most certainly dead. There doesn't appear to be damage to her car, but wait, there is a severed turkey leg jambed up in the tire well. Not sure she can sustain a drive home knowing that it's there the woman goes to try to pull out the turkey leg. She pulls and pulls and pulls the leg, just like I am pulling yours.
Happy April Fool's Day!
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